When you answer the call

(via)

 

Have you ever felt terrified?

Unable to move?

Desperate to change course, but fearful to walk in a new direction?

I've been at that place at different times in my life, and have wondered why...

I know that I have heard God's voice. He has called me to a particular place of surrender, and yet, the desire to hesitate is strong . The tendency to pull back from that brave moment of stepping into the light feels better than pushing back against the fear.

 

Even our Messiah, the Savior of the world, was faced with uncertainty when He was considering His next step.  His Father had sent him to the world with a greater purpose in mind...the forgiveness of sins.  Our redemption hinged on Christ's willingness to walk forward, towards pain and uncertainty, while trusting the Father's plan.

You can read about the night of fear that Christ faced in Matthew 26. 
Verse 39 shows a particular moment of anguish:

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." (NASB)

He fell on His face.
He prayed.
He surrendered.

I've been doing a lot of "falling on my face," recently.

God has called me to a few things specifically...

He has called me to be His.
He has called me to be the wife of my husband.
He has called me to raise 4 children.
He has given Brian and I the call to pursue adoption.
He has asked me to be faithful in mentoring women and teens.
He has begun to open doors of ministry that weren't there a few months ago.

In all of it, I am tempted to run and hide.

The other day, I fell on my face...on my bed, and cried silently..."I don't want to be a grown-up anymore."

Mostly it was because I was way behind on laundry...

No, seriously...this was only a small part of it.

This "growing up and being who you are called to be" is tough stuff.  There is no beating around it.  There are days that are confusing, discouraging, and lonely.

Finding the correct balance in being a Christian Woman, Wife, Mom, Business Owner, and Activist for Social Justice (wink) is tricky.

And, I am not alone.

Everyone reading this knows what I'm talking about.

Some days it feels as if we are rushing somewhere, determined to get there first, with the best scores, and a pat on the back when we are done.

I want Wife of the Year award.
I long for my children to rise up and call me "blessed."
I want a successful business.
I would love to have a part in changing an entire generation with the message and hope of Jesus Christ, the Messiah.

And, I want to get enough sleep every night,
 eat right,
drink 8-10 cups of water ever day,
exercise,
have children with perfect test scores,
make it to every home party,
help clean the church,
volunteer every week,
pretty much just change the world.

I've been overwhelmed by the vastness of things to do.
I've been terrified by the hugeness of the calling from God.
I've been listening to the voices in my head that tell me, I. am. not. enough.

But guess what?

I will never be enough.

Me, alone, is not enough.

I am not capable.

But, God doesn't call the equipped.

He equips the called.

And, Friends in Christ,
I. have. been. called.

And so have you.
May we never give into the lie that "us + God" is not enough.

It will always be more than enough.

Would you join me in praying for the courage to:

Shake off the fears.

Ignore the lies.

Resist insecurity.


"Insecurity only has power over you when you allow it control over your thoughts." - Lysa TerKeurst (The Best Yes)

I don't want to allow it  control over my thinking.

It's easy to give in to the lies we have submitted to before.

The ones that say...

"You are the only one."

"You are too dumb to handle this."

"You can't handle the enormity of this call."
But, we know the truth!


We are not alone.

We are not dumb.

Christ can handle the enormity of the call.

When we answer the call, He answers our cries for help.

He who calls us is FAITHFUL;
He, yes HE, will surely do it.